Today’s Epiphany or Rootless and Searching

I have been deeply affected by the videos going around of the haka being performed in NZ parliament. I have to watch every time one appears in my Social Media feeds, and every time it brings me to tears and gives me chills.

I didn’t understand why it was affecting me so deeply. I am white, and English, so have no connection to (but deep respect for) indigenous traditions and rituals.

Today, I spent some time thinking about it and dissecting my reaction, and I think I have the answer.

Firstly, it is amazing to see a strong woman get up and protest so loudly and confidently while honouring her traditions and customs. That in itself is so powerful and should be (and is) celebrated and applauded.

Secondly, I think it touches me so deeply to see cultural traditions, identities, and customs being lived daily; not kept as something that is only taken out on special occasions, but a part of their every day lives.

Thirdly (and lastly), it reminds me as a white person in modern times that we have lost so many of our traditions and cultural beliefs. Christianity came along and forced its way to being the “be all and end all” of our history and lives, beliefs and traditions had to be adapted or abandoned, and much was lost. I will never know the joy and pride of taking part in my ancestral traditions and rituals. I will never know exactly what my ancestors celebrated or how they would do it. My roots are unknown to me (although I am slowly trying to dig through so much misinformation and scattered knowledge to learn what I can). So seeing others still have that connection and that knowledge brings me both joy and sadness.

I am in no way ignoring the fact that some of my white ancestors were responsible for horrific deeds and atrocities against indigenous peoples. I acknowledge and understand that those ancestors were cruel, and did so much harm to indigenous people in the name of Christianity. I am disgusted by their actions and feel shame that my skin colour gives me advantages in our current patriarchal system.

I learn whatever I can about it, and I listen when indigenous peoples talk. I try to do better every day.

But maybe if we had our own beautiful traditions and powerful sense of who we are and where we came from (NOT in a white supremacy way, because f*ck those guys), we would find it easier to keep our grabby hands off the traditions and practices that our ancestors tried so hard to wipe out.